nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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