Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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