i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize