I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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