Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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