its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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