i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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