There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
