fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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