You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
