haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
