Kiss
Puke
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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