Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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