I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
