summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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