wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
