so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
