Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
wow bdsm is so cute
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
