i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
