it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
