Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
