He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize