I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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