when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
