I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize
