im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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