but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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