2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize