hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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