The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
