i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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