Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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