and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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