Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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