one might say we're banned from that church
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't deserve a penis
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
