You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
