Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
