All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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