...so i touched it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
