I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
