You're so nebulous sometimes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
