I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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