He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
