Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
