I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
