i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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