Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize