who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
