She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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