please come you make the beer taste better
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
