Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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