i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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