that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
