I'm really into asian looking animals
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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