I think my vagina is haunted
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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