i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
