how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
